Four Benefits of Engaging Conflict Head On

Wednesday’s podcast dealt with conflict resolution, and the steps to take when there is an ongoing disagreement.  Today we would like to share with you four benefits to taking action. What good things happen as a result of stepping up and dealing with problems head on?

BENEFIT #1 – Resolution! Something that had been nagging on you for a while is now resolved. The problem is no longer a problem. You can breathe easier. Like unpaid bills, unanswered email, or unreturned phone calls, unresolved interpersonal problems, whether they are disagreements or full on conflicts, just zap your energy and your positivity. When they are finally resolved, and successfully, it just feels so good!

BENEFIT #2 – Relationships restored! Often when there is disagreement, there is a strain on a relationship. The free-flowing joy of community wanders away and there is a tension in the air. Especially if it is another staff member or leader that you see often, it takes more energy to converse and work together when there is “a thing” between you.

If you walk into the tunnel of chaos, there is a restored relationship on the other end.  Referencing something Bill Hybels wrote about, Pastor John Miller, from Abundant Life Church in Stephen’s City VA, in this blog post, said: 

According to Bill Hybels in his book, "Axiom", real community can’t take place until you face your fear and deal with the unspoken issues.  Chances are the other person or people are just as uncomfortable faking it.  But until someone has the guts to say that “this isn’t working; what went wrong?” then nothing will change.  Hybels calls this entering the tunnel of chaos, because working through issues between two people can be scary, messy, and downright ugly.  But when both parties are committed to working it out, the end result is a stronger, truer relationship.  We come out on the other end of the tunnel to brand new light.

That “committed to working it out” piece is an important one. If the commitment is there, then enter the tunnel and have at it – it’s wonderful on the other end!

BENEFIT #3 – Personal growth! When we stretch ourselves and go where we are uncomfortable, there is going to be growth. Growth occurs in the tension, never in the slack. We don’t get stronger in the living room, we get stronger in the weight room. Here are three areas where you will see personal increase and growth:

Increased faith and trust in God – We step out and risk, and see God come through for us.

Increased confidence – We did it! We are likely to do it again and again, thus succeeding.

Increased interpersonal skills – We learn things in the exchange, and get better with people.

BENEFIT #4 – Growth in others. When we engage in resolution of disagreements and conflicts, others grow too. They grow from realizing they are cared for enough that you would risk rejection to engage them and restore your relationship. If you do a good job communicating, they grow by understanding you, themselves, and the situation better.

People just grow when others are concerned about them, when others do difficult things in order to make things right with them, and when others simply take the time to care. Too many people leave conflicts and disagreements unresolved, and people feel ignored and undervalued.

Are there disagreements or conflicts that you need to address? Why wait? Get started. Begin to work through the ten steps we outlined in this week’s podcast. There is joy on the other end!

Next Week:

Next week we talk about why we as leaders should encourage conflict on our leadership teams and how to create “safe conflict zones” in our ministries. We hope that you are challenged in these posts and podcasts to step out with courage in your 200church to lead and care for the people God has given you.

Remember, your leadership is what? What is it?  That’s right… HUGE – in the kingdom of God!

Finally, what other benefits can you think of from engaging problems and disagreements head on?