Wednesday’s podcast dealt with conflict resolution, and the steps to take when there is an ongoing disagreement. Today we would like to share with you four benefits to taking action. What good things happen as a result of stepping up and dealing with problems head on? BENEFIT #1 – Resolution! Something that had been nagging on you for a while is now resolved. The problem is no longer a problem. You can breathe easier. Like unpaid bills, unanswered email, or unreturned phone calls, unresolved interpersonal problems, whether they are disagreements or full on conflicts, just zap your energy and your positivity. When they are finally resolved, and successfully, it just feels so good!
BENEFIT #2 – Relationships restored! Often when there is disagreement, there is a strain on a relationship. The free-flowing joy of community wanders away and there is a tension in the air. Especially if it is another staff member or leader that you see often, it takes more energy to converse and work together when there is “a thing” between you. If you walk into the tunnel of chaos, there is a restored relationship on the other end. Referencing something Bill Hybels wrote about, Pastor John Miller, from Abundant Life Church in Stephen’s City VA, in this blog post, said: According to Bill Hybels in his book, "Axiom", real community can’t take place until you face your fear and deal with the unspoken issues. Chances are the other person or people are just as uncomfortable faking it. But until someone has the guts to say that “this isn’t working; what went wrong?” then nothing will change. Hybels calls this entering the tunnel of chaos, because working through issues between two people can be scary, messy, and downright ugly. But when both parties are committed to working it out, the end result is a stronger, truer relationship. We come out on the other end of the tunnel to brand new light. That “committed to working it out” piece is an important one. If the commitment is there, then enter the tunnel and have at it – it’s wonderful on the other end! BENEFIT #3 – Personal growth! When we stretch ourselves and go where we are uncomfortable, there is going to be growth. Growth occurs in the tension, never in the slack. We don’t get stronger in the living room, we get stronger in the weight room. Here are three areas where you will see personal increase and growth: Increased faith and trust in God – We step out and risk, and see God come through for us. Increased confidence – We did it! We are likely to do it again and again, thus succeeding. Increased interpersonal skills – We learn things in the exchange, and get better with people. BENEFIT #4 – Growth in others. When we engage in resolution of disagreements and conflicts, others grow too. They grow from realizing they are cared for enough that you would risk rejection to engage them and restore your relationship. If you do a good job communicating, they grow by understanding you, themselves, and the situation better. People just grow when others are concerned about them, when others do difficult things in order to make things right with them, and when others simply take the time to care. Too many people leave conflicts and disagreements unresolved, and people feel ignored and undervalued. Are there disagreements or conflicts that you need to address? Why wait? Get started. Begin to work through the ten steps we outlined in this week’s podcast. There is joy on the other end! Next Week: Next week we talk about why we as leaders should encourage conflict on our leadership teams and how to create “safe conflict zones” in our ministries. We hope that you are challenged in these posts and podcasts to step out with courage in your 200church to lead and care for the people God has given you. Remember, your leadership is what? What is it? That’s right… HUGE – in the kingdom of God! Finally, what other benefits can you think of from engaging problems and disagreements head on? Those of us in ministry often wonder if what we are doing counts, if it really matters, and if it will yield results in the long run. We try to mitigate our losses by assessing whether the people we are sinking our time into will give us a return on our investment. We want to pour into people who will take what we are giving them and actually do something with it, and not just let it run down the drain. Almost twenty years I stumbled across a ministry practice which has produced more results than anything else I have ever done in ministry. I was able to see lives changed, people grow, and passion flow in very positive directions. That ministry practice can be described in a couple ways and is very common in many churches: missions trip, service project, work project, or very commonly, ministry involvement.
Those many years ago, I led a missions trip from one side of the country to the other. I took eight students and one adult with me, ten of us. We made that same trip for ten years in a row, with more than seventy different students and incredible results. One student went on that trip with us ten years in a row. He is a pastor now. Another went for nine years, she is the pastor’s wife. Another seven years, he is a Christian Camp director. Another is a church elder, four others are youth workers, and on and on I could go. This week we've been looking at a few of the frustrations of leaders and, on Wednesday, on Episode 14, we talked about what we believe is one of the most important ways that leaders can smooth out some of those frustrations: investing in relationships. We looked at eight ways to build relational foundations with those you are leading in your organization. Today we’re going to expand on some of those ideas with practical ways to make those connections. Our first step toward building relationships was spending some one on one (or family on family) time outside of church with your leadership. When you do have this one on one time, we would encourage you to do it not only outside of church, but also outside of your home. There is a tension in asking someone over for dinner—for the host who has to prepare and the guest who has to be on their best behavior—that doesn't always make for the easiest “first date.” Instead, go out to dinner, or find a local sporting/entertainment event that would be fun for everyone involved. Nobody has home-field advantage, and hopefully everybody can drop their guard just a little bit.
Next, we talked about asking for input and actually listening to your leadership team. When you start a conversation, remind yourself that the goal is to keep an open mind and ear to the person you’re speaking with, not just to convince them of an agenda or direction you want to take. That means we don’t enter a conversation with our specific agenda in mind, but instead we really open ourselves up to hear where another person is coming from and their input into a project or situation. When we let our minds wander back to what we want, we stop listening and start strategizing our next move. This takes practice, but will pay dividends in the long run.
With our 200churches blog and podcast, our purpose is to encourage, support, and inspire pastors of smaller churches, churches that range anywhere from 20 to 200 or more. That’s it! That’s why we exist. Our podcast today aims to better equip you to build some serious, major league relationships with the members of your church board or leadership structure. We believe that if we are serious about leading our church, and growing our people, it all begins with our relationship with the church leaders. Real personal growth and life change happens best in relationship – in community.
We also believe in what Rick Warren has long stated: “All leaders are learners, when we stop learning, we stop leading.” Part of our learning is to listen to good podcasts and leadership lessons, and… enroll in graduate programs, but that’s another story! One of our favorite podcasts is the “This Is Your Life” podcast by Michael Hyatt. You can find it on iTunes and at www.michaelhyatt.com.
On last week’s podcast at michaelhyatt.com, titled The Three Components of Job Satisfaction, he took a question from Brent Dumler who asked, “What would you say to a 20-something church leader who finds him or herself in the midst of an unhealthy church? When would you advise them to start looking for something else?” In Michael’s answer, he talks about a young pastor who was frustrated with his board because they just “didn’t get it”. That question and Michael’s answer prompted this podcast about how, if we are not going to just bail and skip off to another church, we must build relationships with our boards if we are to have any hope of creating positive change, with them, in our church! We talk about what we think are perhaps the eight most important ways to build those healthy, trust-filled relationships with our church leaders. Here are the eight ways up front, and we hope you enjoy today’s podcast and are challenged to implement some of these practices right away in your 200church!
Well, here it is… the final post on the topic of Prone to Wander! So far this week we talked about the negative consequences of leaving too early, and seven things that contribute to our desire to do so. Now, I want to share with you… 4 Practices that Produce Short Pastorates: 1. Going it alone. Whatever you do in ministry, do not go it alone! Loneliness and isolation almost guarantee pastoral failure. First, you don’t know enough to try and do your ministry alone. You need the help of the body of Christ. Second, you’ll miss out on partnership, camaraderie, and the joy of teamwork.
Do you have others on your ministry team? Are there some people in the church that you’ve known for a while you needed to tap and move into a ministry, but just haven’t? Perhaps you fear rejection. You think they’ll say no. Maybe they’re just waiting to be asked. I recently asked two people to serve in our church (they’ve been around for several years but haven’t been serving) and they were surprised to be asked and happily said yes. They’ve served like superstar athletes in our church these last few months – they were just waiting to be asked! Do not go it alone. Gather a team, empower others, and enjoy the game. Guess what happened today, Good Friday?! Remember that baby that Jonny and his wife were expecting… for the last nine months? He made his arrival this morning, joining Mom and Dad, and big Brother! We actually had two babies born from moms in our church today, two hours apart, in the same hospital, just across the hall from each other. It was a good day in our community! Normally we publish a blog post on Friday mornings, but we were all a little busy “integrating” with our community today – so here is a special Easter weekend edition!
We began a discussion about Integrating with Our Community this week, and we will continue it in the future for sure, but for now, let’s wrap up this week’s topic with four “community laws” I try to live by as a pastor. Community Law #1: Love what your people love. If we as pastors are really going to love our people, that includes loving what our people love. I have never liked it when pastors told me that they have moved into a community to pastor a church, but they did not particularly like the culture of the town or the church. In a couple weeks our theme will be Staying Put – the Benefits of a Long Ministry, in that podcast we will talk about long term ministry, and how we must love our people, and love what they love! If we choose to mock and laugh at the culture of our people, or to stand on the sidelines and watch their lives from afar, we will never have an effective ministry. And, if we can’t even integrate into the community of our own church family, we’ll never have the heart, desire, or commitment to reach into our neighborhood community. In our town we have an annual five day Tulip Festival. The first year I was here and experienced it I did so as an outsider. I thought it was strange. Nice, but strange! After two years I realized the positive outcomes and benefits this Tulip Festival has on our community every year. I also realized how proud our people are of their town and how much they love the Tulip Festival. I chose to love what my people love. Every year I look forward to the Tulip Festival, I participate in some way, and I get to live life with people in our community. I am better for it! Community Law #2: Love what your community loves. What are the things that set your community apart from other communities in your region of the state? Are there certain restaurants, attractions, or events for which your community is known? Is there a sports team, Philharmonic Orchestra, or other community attraction in your town? You can choose to love what your community loves. Perhaps in your community there is an annual event or tradition at which most of the town shows up, or there is a national landmark, local attraction, or the commemoration of an historical event which draw lots of people and about which your community is proud. You can choose to love what your community loves, and in turn, love your community! Community Law #3 - Go where your community goes. Where does your community go? Do you pass up local businesses to get a “better deal” in the next town? Unless it is absolutely cost prohibitive, you should shop in your community, and go where your community goes. Is there a park, library, or restaurant where a ton of people from your community can be found? Then you go there too! When you go where your community goes, you will be able to integrate with your community that much better. Community Law #4 - Do what your community does. Do people in your community take care of their lawns, then take care of yours. Do they take walks in the park? Then you take walks in the park too! Do people in your community recycle, cycle, watch movies, go to the Y, attend the Opera, shop at the Farmer’s Market, walk their dogs, or fly RC planes through the park? Then you do it too. Do what your community does, and you can begin to integrate with your community. Really Pastor, it starts with you. Will you love your people enough to love what they love? Will you love your community enough to love what they love, go where they go, and do what they do? You can do it, and you’ll be better for it, as a pastor, and as a person! This week, our podcast focused on creating an inviting atmosphere in our 200churches. We believe that an inviting atmosphere begins with the people who attend your church, and we outlined five steps that you can take at your own 200church that will get you started on cultivating a warm, welcoming environment wherever you are, and no matter the size of your budget. While we start with ourselves as people whose characters, personalities, and practices are what shape the atmosphere of our services, we should also pay close attention to the overall feel of our church facilities. Environments are important and we should take time to consider the message that we're sending to people as they walk in our doors. No matter where a church is located or how many people are attending, we should always be ready for visitors to walk into one of our services. As leaders, we're ultimately responsible for the experience that people have when they attend, and a large part of that experience is related to the environment of our church.
The longer you've been at your church, the more difficult it is to be an accurate barometer of its atmosphere. When I first came to work at the church where I now serve, I had so many ideas on how we could make a change here or there to impact the overall atmosphere in our facilities. As time has passed, however, I inevitably have lost some of my ability to recognize those areas. This happens to all of us, so here are some easy ways to get a feel for what your environment is currently like, and how to move forward.
It may sound trivial, but if our church environments are less than appealing, we reduce the likelihood of attracting and retaining new attenders. Not only that, but we're doing a disservice to the people who are currently attending our church by not working to ensure that the place where they come to worship is always inviting, welcoming, and friendly. Here are a few final questions to ask on environment:
If you had to give bad answers to any of the above questions, what can you do about it? Who is going to address these areas? Are there leaders or volunteers who are gifted and passionate in any of these areas, to whom you could delegate some tasks? You may not need to spend much, if any, money, just a little time and energy removing the old, and straightening, cleaning, polishing, and painting what's left! Before anyone comes to visit us, my wife and I spend some quality time picking up, cleaning up, and working to make sure that someone's visit to our home is as pleasant and enjoyable as possible. Whether it's students from our church or some friends we're having over for the first time, we know that environment is important. We understand that about our homes, but because of familiarity and shared ownership, we miss it at church. It's time we applied the same standards to our churches! When it comes to connecting people in ministries, we should learn a lesson from the Cable TV companies – we should bundle! Instead of overseeing twelve different ministries in your 200church, what if we appointed four volunteers, or board members, or deacons, or elders over three ministries each? Then you would only need to connect with four people instead of twelve. Some people are wired to serve in a ministry, others to lead a ministry, and still others to oversee several ministries in your church. It is very common to have people who serve, and people who lead, but too many 200churches do not bundle. They do not utilize people to oversee several ministries at once.
In our 200church, we have doctors, business owners, teachers and professors, supervisors, small business entrepreneurs, people who are self employed working from home, etc. Even though our church is relatively small, we have many people who can oversee several ministries at once, and I'll bet your church does too! All we have to do is change our thinking, expectations, and our approach. Think Differently Perhaps our thinking is just too small. By nature I am a person who enjoys serving more than I enjoy being served. That's actually a large part of why I became a pastor, to serve others. If I am not careful, my internal make-up will unwittingly work against me in this area of how I think about equipping the Body to serve. I have had to learn to think differently about this. I used to think that people were too busy to serve. Now I know that we make time for the priorities in our lives. I used to think that people came to church to receive ministry, now I know that people are the church, and that they were made for ministry. I used to think that I was the one equipped for ministry, now I know that my main role is to equip believers to serve each other and our community. Expect More I have had to adjust my expectations about believers serving in ministry. I used to expect very little, and that is what I got. I used to expect people would not want to serve, but now I expect that when I match people with ministry according to their gifts and passion, they love to serve and they live to serve. I used to expect that people would not do "the job" as well as I could, but now I'm beginning to realize that some people are better suited for certain responsibilities than I could ever be. Approach Proactively Too often in 200churches, we act reactively when someone quits or steps out of a ministry. We respond to the crisis by grabbing anyone to fill the slot. Instead of trying to push someone into a ministry on the fly, we should concentrate on finding people early and equipping them for ministry. As leaders of 200churches, we should keep the deck stacked, and the bench deep, so that there are always others ready to step in, move up, or slide over to meet a ministry need. Bundle for Survival! This is an area where we are growing in our approach. In fact, the way we think, what we expect, and how we approach - these are all areas where we constantly have to be intentional. These things certainly don't just happen by accident in a 200church! As our churches grow from 25 to 50, 50 to 100, or 100 to 200, we have to develop mid-level leadership between us and our members serving in ministry. Where most 200churches fail is that we don't intentionally delegate two or more ministries under one lay leader's oversight. When we do, it makes our administrative tasks so much more doable and allows us to accomplish more by personally overseeing fewer people. If we have five or ten Sunday School classes, we often will have a director of some sort overseeing them. In the same way, we can bundle similar ministries together and place one director to oversee them all. We have bundled youth and children's ministries; small groups, fellowship, and assimilation; discipleship and pastoral care; and we are currently working on bundling greeters, ushers, and hospitality under one couple who will oversee the recruitment, training, and scheduling of all three. We do have to think differently about letting go of ministry in order to hand it over to capable and passionate members of our church. We can change our expectations and see how people live up to higher levels when we believe in them. And when we think differently and expect different outcomes, our approach naturally changes in positive ways. While "bundling" may not always work for our financial benefit in the world of utilities, it sure can help us navigate and survive a growth spurt in our 200church!
In 200churches, we have the opportunity to get to know new people the first Sunday that they walk into our church. Chances are, your church has fewer than 300 members, and new faces stand out to you a mile away. That’s great! But how do we turn those new attenders into new volunteers? How long does it take us to get people involved in ministry?
We believe that 200churches should get people involved ASAP. For us, that means either the first or second week that somebody starts to attend our church. But a lot of times, pastors and leaders hesitate to move that quickly? What’s standing in our way? Fear: (What are we afraid of?)
So we know there’s a problem. What’s the solution? How do we get new people involved more quickly? First, we need to define ministry properly. Ministry looks like God’s people using the gifts and abilities he’s given them, to serve him and others. Most of the ministry that God will do through the people in our church will happen outside of the four walls of our building. (So even though we’re talking specifically about how to get people involved in our local fellowship or gathering – we can’t forget that the big picture is about equipping our people to be ministers and to be serving God at their workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, and homes.) Second, we have to be committed to trying to only do what only we can do. Andy Stanley really has stressed this over the years. It is very hard to do, certainly impossible to do all the time, but it is a great target to shoot for. Third, when it comes to ministry, together is always better. We need to take people with us, and invite people to join us as we do ministry together. A couple weeks ago we wrote a blog called “The Importance of Delegation – Don’t be a Hero”. In it we talked about delegating to others, and multiplying our efforts. Fourth, we need to change what we're afraid of:
Local church ministry can be the beginning of understanding that “ministry” is much larger than what happens on Sunday mornings. What are other ways you have used to get people serving sooner rather than later? Ministry is sometimes ugly! Pastors, elders, deacons, and other leaders can often be filled with pride, selfishness, or materialistic greed. There can be gossip, double-crossing of others, lies, slander, dishonesty, defensiveness, and other not so nice character deficiencies. Pastor can betray pastor, youth workers can lose the trust of a pastor or parents, and even relationships that look good on the outside can be falling apart. Ministry is sometimes ugly! As a pastor, I have long been inspired by a verse from the New Testament. This verse challenges me to be the best servant and minister I can be. It scares me with the simple forcefulness of the pastoral charge. In a single verse, my bearings are set back on due course as it relates to the ministry of what a pastor is. Whenever I go to this verse I am moved and motivated to care more and do more than I have ever done as a pastor. That verse is 1 Peter 5:2, and it says “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve…” Several ideas jump off the page of that verse to me even now as I read it. Be Shepherds. God wants me to help him take care of his sheep. It is God’s flock. These people are not mine, but God’s! I need to remember whose people I am caring for. God has put some people under my care. I get to care for them. I get to love them. I get to do the deepest parts of life together with them. While they are God’s people, he has temporarily put them under my care. Watching over them willingly. I don’t like to be relied upon to watch over stuff. I like to do my own thing, come when I want to come, go when I want to go. But God has put some people under our care and said to us “watch over them”. And he wants us to do it willingly. We are not to do it for riches or great wealth. The King James Version says “not greedy of filthy lucre.” I still remember the Three Stooges video of them jumping around singing “We want the filthy lucre!! We want the filthy lucre!!” God wants us to watch over people not for love of money, but for love of him and others. Finally, we are to be eager to serve! When we get to the point where we are tired and lethargic in serving, we need a break. When we want to be served more than serving, we are in trouble. Read through the Gospels and observe how eager Jesus was to help and to serve. More than once he said - "What do you want me to do for you?" Eager is the active ingredient and should be our attitude goal as we love our people. Ministry is sometimes ugly, hard, difficult, and impossible. As pastors of 200churches, we can remember that we are shepherds and God has put some of his people under our care. That is the true north for our ministries: shepherding those in our care. |
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