It was a Monday evening, and I was driving with my family. My mind was a blur. Every ounce of focus and concentration was gone. Inside, I kept saying: “Pull it together, Paul! It’s not that big of a deal. What is wrong with you?” Then the tears started flowing uncontrollably, and they wouldn’t stop until I had cried myself to sleep several hours later. Little did I know that I was just beginning to feel the effects of a full-blown breakdown. My Spiral Downward. Six months before, I was preaching three services every Sunday. I had recently become a police chaplain with our local department. Our church had just opened a coffeehouse in the center of the city, and it was bustling with ministry activity. I also had started a master of divinity program at a local seminary. And did I mention I was married, with two preschool-age sons? In hindsight, I know the Holy Spirit was working to get my attention. The first class of my master’s program was on addiction, and Jesus spoke loud and clear to me: I want to deal with your work addiction and perfectionism! I was clueless, however, about what that meant, and I failed to seek out the meaning. Then a particularly frantic season began for me. A family member was in crisis, and I dove in to help. In the midst of that, a 17-year-old teen, whom I had baptized just months earlier, was diagnosed with leukemia. I often spent hours a day with him during his last four months as he fought for life. After his memorial events, I was exhausted. I took a one-month self-imposed sabbatical, believing that would get me out from under the stress I’d been carrying. Not even close. After just one weekend back, I encountered that fateful Monday night. A wise counselor told me that I didn’t get here overnight, and I wasn’t getting out of this overnight, either. So began a long process of God putting the pieces back together. His way. Following are some of the key things I learned during my journey. Four Lessons I Learned 1. God speaks through our bodies and emotions. Imagine my discouragement when diagnosed with clinical depression. Now, envision my hope when I learned that depression is actually a gift from God—it’s a circuit breaker that forces the body to slow down before it starts blowing gaskets. Viewed with the Spirit’s discernment, this painful process can take us to places we would otherwise never go. 2. My spiritual maturity will never outgrow my emotional health. Figuring out why work addiction and perfectionism were issues in my life freed me to grow emotionally in ways for which my spirit was thirsting. God created us with emotions we must learn to express in healthy and life-giving ways that will release our spiritual maturity instead of stunting it. 3. I have my own God-given pace at which I am meant to live life. God designed each of us uniquely. Some people can thrive living life at a fast pace, others cannot. And that’s OK. Even Jesus knew when He needed to withdraw from the crowds; He knew His pace. Live yours! 4. Physical and emotional health go hand-in-hand with spiritual leadership. If your blood pressure is high, there’s a reason for it. If you can’t sleep well, that’s going to catch up with you. If your focus and concentration have run dry, or you find yourself shedding tears for no reason, those are real issues that you shouldn’t simply chalk up to spiritual warfare. Being a healthy leader means walking in health in all areas of life, not just spiritually. Don’t wait until you have a full-blown breakdown. If you need help, reach out for it today.
Kevin Pringle is our guest on today's podcast, Episode 66! Kevin is very candid with us as he talks about his leadership of his current 5-year ministry in Lincoln, NE. Kevin hit the ground running with this church plant, but it is in a very active community with many needs. After his first year, Kevin found himself on the brink of burnout, again. Recognizing those telltale signs of burnout, and not wanting to go to that party again, he took concrete steps to avoid it. He details his journey in this episode.
Today, Kevin has close friends within his church leadership, who support and encourage him, joining him in leading the ministries of the church. Kevin's wife, Beth, is her husband's partner as his Administrative Assistant. Kevin says Beth is the only paid staff that can actually fire him - as per a loophole in the church bylaws! Maybe not, but Beth keeps him honest, and together they lead and love their sons and daughters as together they form - TEAM PRINGLE!
Jonny and I had a blast with Kevin at our denomination's conference. He is a husband, father, pastor, leader, friend, and inspirer/encourager without our denomination! You will be encouraged and inspired as you listen to Kevin share his story of God's goodness in his life. Kevin joins all of you as a real, live, 200church pastor making a big difference in his community for the Kingdom! Pastor, if your people knew the worst about you, would they still want you to be their pastor?? Here’s a question, is there someone in your church who, if they did know the worst about you, would still love you and support you as a brother or sister in Christ? Pastors can often languish in the prison of secrecy, believing that if people knew the real them, they would be rejected and expelled from their leadership position. Is this not the real definition of stress?! You must hide yourself so well from your people, because if your people found out what and who you really are on the inside, they would run?
What if the worst really is that bad? Who can you tell? Who can you trust with the truth? How is it that pastors are supposed to get help? What if you are in deep in a situation and you need someone to talk with, confidentially, so that you could get out? This is what next week’s podcast is about. It’s about living grace. Grace that lives. Grace that is so real, and so much from Jesus, that it actually lives, and gives you life. Go back and listen to episode 61, with our friend John Lynch. If you’ve already listened, listen again. Then get ready for episode 64, which is the conclusion of our conversation. In the meantime, go ahead and buy the Kindle version of The Cure. You can find it here. Read it, and listen to these episodes, #61 already on iTunes, and #64 which will be released this coming Wednesday. Pastor, if you’re in trouble, help is on the way. This week we have tackled the topic of the pastor's soul care. And, this week, I (Jeff) have experienced the proverbial "death by a thousand paper cuts" in regards to my ministry soul. More than a dozen comments and conversations that, by themselves, would be fairly benign, have all landed in this week, and bundled together have dragged my soul down and caused my ministry enthusiasm and passion to wane. I realized this was happening today, and I consciously determined I should figure out what to do about it. How could I restore my soul to a place of energy and passion in my pursuit of shepherding the flock - loving, leading, and teaching the people in my church? I realized tonight that I used 5 ways to nurture my pastoral soul:
1. I talked about it. This morning I had a significant conversation with my wife. After that, but just prior to Jonny and I having our final major prep session for our Sunday message, I shared my thoughts with him. It worked. My thoughts did disentangle themselves as they passed through my lips. My wife and my associate helped me to make sense of them as well. I was not crazy alone, I had two others join me! 2. I prayed about it. Talking to God allowed me to have some perspective on those "thousand paper cuts." Prayer reminds me who I am serving, who I am loving, who is helping and empowering me in ministry, and that I really should never rely on my own abilities or strengths - but his. 3. I disconnected those dozen comments/conversations. When all clumped together, they seem formidable and ugly, like a pack of wild dogs intent on taking me down. But when I mentally disconnect them, separate them, and put them into perspective, they lose their power. It's not as bad as I thought it was. His comment was hardly so caustic, her email not as biting. 4. I remembered why I was in ministry in the first place. God called me. He wired me for this. He promised to always walk with me through ministry. He pulled me out of an unlikely upbringing, and set my path on serving others, loving God, and giving my life for the Gospel. Sometimes you just have to live the "good news" in the form of patience, long-suffering, humility, and even just being willing to be dumped on now and then. God called me to love people and share truth. Oh yeah, that is why I'm in ministry. It's good to just remind yourself once in a while... 5. This may sound old-fashioned, but I consciously counted my blessings. I have so much to be thankful for, and when I focus on those things more than my "thousand paper cuts" of critical comments and conversations, my attitude changes and my soul is refreshed. In fact, I have EVERYTHING to live for, give thanks for, and get moving for. The question for me is - what am I going to focus on, some critical comments and conversations, or the really important stuff of life? So those are the five things I did to nurture my ministry soul back to vibrancy today. I talked about it, prayed about it, tried to put things in perspective, reminded myself of God's calling on my life, and specifically counted my blessings. How are YOU doing Pastor? Jonny and I hope you are doing well. We hope that you are being reminded again this week that your pastoral SOUL is so important - it's YOU. It's who you are on the inside. It's that beautiful person that God made you to be, to care for his wonderful, precious sheep that he's herded over to your pen for protection and provision. Your soul is the reservoir, the repository, of your ministry energy, pastoral care giving, and preaching/teaching content. Feed it, nurture it, and prioritize it. Take time to sit in wonder of God. Allow him to love you and enthuse you with his grace and power. May your soul bask in the sunlight of the Spirit, and be filled to overflowing with the love and heart of Jesus. Pastor - for this weekend, leave all your talents, gifts, and abilities at home. Go and preach and teach in the power of the Holy Spirit, the heart of Jesus, and the love of the Father. See what God is going to do through you in the lives of your congregation. No matter the size of your church - YOU and YOUR PEOPLE matter huge in the Kingdom of God!
In 2014 we are partnering with three ministry leaders who are going to join us once a month on the podcast. One year ago this week, when we recorded our first podcast episode (which by the way, never actually got recorded, since we did not have a memory card in the mp3 recorder! LOL) we had no idea how many fantastic people we would get to know, let alone have the pleasure of partnering with!
One of those partners is with us on this week's podcast - Dave Jacobs, from SmallChurchPastor.com. Dave coaches pastors and church boards toward optimal ministry health. He is not just a pastor's coach, but a huge cheerleader of pastors. The biggest problem with Dave Jacobs is that there is only one of him - other than that, he is a great guy and huge builder of pastors. On this, Episode 53, we talk about what we think is the absolute #1 priority of every small church pastor on the planet. This priority is essential if we are going to both survive ministry and be effective at it. We believe that the health of our souls is the #1 priority for us in ministry. The soul health of a pastor is his or her single greatest source of ministry passion, power, and energy. If your soul is sick or weak, you will not be able to shepherd, feed, and lead in a manner that your people need you to. How's your soul Pastor? Really? We are calling Dave's segment "In the Locker Room" because Dave, for a living, coaches small church pastors. We are the players, he is the coach, and he wants all of us 200church pastors to WIN! So, when you listen to this episode, think of yourself as being "in the Locker Room" with Coach Jacobs. Then take his coaching out onto the court - and put the ball through the hoop! We are also excited that Dave is writing a book. It's not finished yet. The title will be something along the lines of: A Mile Wide and an Inch Deep - Soul Care for Busy Pastors. We think that this book is so needed by all of us pastors. As we always say, pastors can never get too much encouragement. That's why we started 200churches. We want to encourage and support - build up and inspire, pastors of small churches... 200churches. While his book is in process, Dave has a number of very moderately priced resources for pastors and church boards. Check them out here. Maybe it's time to focus on one of these areas and resources in your church ministry in 2014? So enjoy this episode with Coach Jacobs! Find Dave at SmallChurchPastor.com and at his blog, DaveJacobs.net. God bless you as you love and lead your people. Never forget: your ministry in your 200church, no matter the size, is impacting the Kingdom of God! There’s a boy in my church, I’ll call him Bobby, who was born in the fall of 2003. That would make him just over ten years old. Bobby is a great young man, articulate, smart, and very happy to follow Jesus. I came to this church in January of 2004. Bobby was just a couple months old. I first saw him in his car seat, all bundled up against the subzero weather we had that January. I am the only pastor Bobby has ever had.
I love kids and always try to develop a personal relationship with the kids at our church. I want them to know some things:
Bobby is the kid who comes to my mind whenever I consider my commitment to my pastoral ministry here. Bobby has only known one pastor – his whole life. If I just stay eight more years Bobby can graduate having experienced one pastor and one church, for his entire childhood and teen years! Bobby will understand that the church, the body of Christ, is real, true, important, vital, and genuine. If I can stay for at least eight more years, and Bobby’s parents continue at our church, Bobby will get to experience something precious few experience – church stability. A church literally living out the love and mission of the body of Christ is so important for a kid to actually believe. It’s important because a kid’s understanding, what is weaved into the fabric of his soul, is what the adults in his life live. They won’t learn from what we tell them – they’ll learn what we live. Pastor, it’s important, that ministry you’re serving in today. And it’s not just important to the Bobby’s of your church – it’s important to all of the people in your church. The average church member, kid or adult, has to switch out pastors 2-5 times if they stay in a church for more than ten years. Pastoral turnover is bad for churches. A recent study found that while long term pastorates do not guarantee a church will grow, short term pastorates (less than four years) absolutely do guarantee that a church will NOT grow. We are not just talking about numbers growth here, but I believe this also relates to the personal spiritual growth of the people as well. Bobby will not grow as much spiritually if he has three or four different pastors before he is eighteen years old. His church certainly won’t grow. Pastor, what did you commit to when God called you into ministry? Personal happiness? A nice part of the country? Having the mall just five minutes away? A warm climate? Or did you commit to people, and to the Gospel? Did you enter pastoral ministry because God looked at you and said – “here is someone who will shepherd my sheep. Here is someone who will look at the crowds and will, like me, be moved with compassion for them. Here is someone who will feed, and not abandon, the flock.”? What’s grinding on you Pastor? What’s making you want to leave? What are you committed to – the idea of ministry, the place where you minister, or the people to whom you minister? Does God really want you to leave them? Only you can answer that question. Make sure you have the right answer.
Our gratitude goes to Dave Jackson, from the School of Podcasting, who took the time to talk with two podcasting newbies and offered encouragement, support, and affirmation. We only include a third of our conversation with Dave, which lasted almost an hour and a half. Dave spent the time to get to know us, coach us by giving us some podcasting tips, and just generally converse on small church ministry, life, and all things podcasting.
This is a very fun conversation that we think will encourage you in your life and ministry. He offers a critical analysis of the difference between his large church and small church experiences - so we say - "let's learn from what he says and seek to be better pastors, period." His evaluations really apply to churches of all sizes as we seek to love people, connect them to God, and graft them into Kingdom community. Thanks Dave, for being a real friend to so many in the podcasting and Christian communities. You can also find Dave at www.feedingmyfaith.org as he shares his spiritual journey with his listeners on the Feeding My Faith Podcast. Here is the latest episode of Feeding My Faith at the time of this posting. And... you can find him as the co-host, with Ray Ortega, on The Podcaster's Roundtable, a video and audio podcast where Ray and Dave are normally joined by Daniel J. Lewis from The Audacity to Podcast, as well as one or two other Roundtable podcasters they invite to talk with them. Here is their Podcaster's Roundtable YouTube Channel with all of their video shows. Episode Note: Jonny was late joining Dave and I in our conversation, so I, as usual, mock him just a bit when he shows up. The real story is that he was being a good husband and father while Dave and I were shirking our responsibilities! :) Today is November 22, 2013, fifty years to the day of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. That small act, the killing of one man, had a HUGE impact on our country. I was eight months old crawling around on the living room carpet. Hundreds of people died that day all across America. Car accidents, heart attacks, overdoses, strokes, slips and falls, etc. But only one man's death mattered in the national psyche that day. The President. This week we have tried to impress again upon all of us 200church pastors, small church pastors, that what we do in our small churches really and truly matters. Our ministries have a HUGE impact on the Kingdom of God. Pastor Cynthia has changed lives by pastoring one small, rural church for 20 years. YOUR ministry and your love for God and your people also matter a great deal to the Kingdom.
Last week we talked on the podcast about the health of your soul, and about self-care. If you did not hear it, check it out. Today is Friday and it is my day off - so I am going to direct you to a blog post - a very cool, quite brief post that we think will encourage you in your 200church ministry. Here it is, click here. And while you read it, I am going to enjoy my day off! Thank you very much. :) Next week is Part 4 of Dan Reiland as he talks Amplified Leadership on the 200churches Podcast, episode 46! His first three podcast episodes can be found on the Podcast tab at the top of this page - episodes 33, 37, & 42. (or, just click on them!) Have a wonderful weekend. This week on the podcast, we talked with Dave Jacobs who has dedicated his life to coaching pastors, and especially pastors of 200churches. If you haven't listened yet, quit reading this right now and listen. Seriously. Have you listened yet? Good. How awesome was that?! Dave gets right to the heart of the issue and with so much compassion and understanding, tells us what we already know: being a pastor is tough. It's tough emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Because of the difficult nature of the job, it's important that pastors take care of themselves. Not just for their own sake, but also for the sake of their families, congregations, and communities. We pastors need to be healthy. One of the craziest moments on the podcast came when Dave suggested that pastors schedule themselves around 35 hour work weeks. Say what?! His reasoning makes sense though: we already know that as pastors, we'll have at least 5 hours of unscheduled time come up here and there throughout the week. That's the nature of being "on-call" and, for many pastors, that's the part of the job that we enjoy the most.
Because of that unscheduled time, Dave encourages all the pastors he coaches to schedule themselves 35 hours in a week. Why? Because being a pastor can really take it out of you! We take "work" home with us, send emails on the go, talk to our spouses about the latest goings on at the church, and generally carry the spiritual burden of the church 24/7. If we're not careful, we can start to work 50, 60, or even 70+ hours a week! That's bad for our health and definitely bad for the health of those around us. This is something that we at 200churches have to work on too, and begin to practice what we preach. Our schedules can get away from us and soon we can't even separate "ministry" time from "free" time. But even in our own weakness, we've found some practices that help: 1. Set a routine and refuse to break it! - Maybe your routine is to head to the office at 7 AM and leave no later than 4. Maybe it's insisting that you won't be out of the house more than two nights a week. Maybe it's that you take every Friday off. We're all different and our schedules and routines will look different. The goal isn't to fit yourself into a pre-made schedule box, but rather to refuse to jump out of the box you've created for yourself. 2. Limit the hours you work every week - Maybe this means you turn off your iPhone when you get home at night. Or maybe it means going in later to work if you know you're going to be there late. Dave talked about the 35 hour week and we think you should take that advice to heart. Quit working so many hours. The ministry will be there when you get back. 3. Ask your spouse/kids what they think your schedule should be - Is this a scary thought? If you're worried about what your spouse or kids might tell you, you're probably already working too hard. Dave listed off the priorities of a pastor like this: 1. God 2. Spouse 3. Kids 4. Ministry. What does your list look like? If you're not sure, ask your family, they'll know. While this list can't be lived literally, the priorities of life should be reflected in that order. Once you've developed a healthy schedule, you can actually start to schedule yourself some health. Take a monthly retreat. Seriously, do it. As small church pastors and leaders, we have a responsibility to take care of ourselves and our relationship with Christ. A better work schedule should lead to a better sleep schedule. A better meal schedule. A better exercise schedule. We're not telling you to become health nuts, but we are encouraging you to at least be healthy leaders. So what did you think of the podcast this week? Were you inspired to call Dave and get some coaching for yourself? Lets us know what you think in the comments. We always love to hear from you!
This, is a no-holds barred, very honest, tête-à-tête between three, not two, pastors! We talk about the things that rattle a pastor's personal cage. These are things that we wish we had a handle on, and they all revolve around self-care and soul-care. How do we take care of ourselves? Better, do we?
Dave Jacobs from SmallChurchPastor has spent almost 30 years in ministry and today, from his home in Oregon, works full time coaching pastors and boards, mostly from small churches. Dave works with pastors of all size churches, but he specializes in small churches.
When we found Dave, we quickly invited him to join us on the podcast, because we knew he would share a ton of encouragement with all of you, our 200church pastor friends! So this "post" is very short, because we want you to enjoy this, our longest episode yet. Listen to it in two or three segments, but listen to it - because we know you are going to be both challenged and encouraged! Finally, be sure to check out SmallChurchPastor.com, because Dave has a ton of resources, some free, and some too good to give away! I especially like the resources he uses as he works with church boards to help you as a pastor in your leadership. This website is a treasure trove of help for pastors of small churches - take a look! We are not affiliate marketers for Dave, we're just smart - we know a good thing when we see it! Links that are all about Dave! www.davejacobs.net www.smallchurchpastor.com Dave's Church Board Training Modules My Best Leadership Training Curriculum dave@smallchurchpastor.com Twitter: @thinkmonk Books by Eugene Peterson that Dave references: The Contemplative Pastor - Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction Under the Unpredictable Plant: An Exploration in Vocational Holiness Working The Angles - The Shape of Pastoral Integrity Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work |
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