Until very recently, Paul Kuzma has been on the pastoral staff of New Heart Foursquare Church in Simi Valley, CA. Paul was a staff member for the first twelve years, and lead pastor for the past seventeen years.
Paul is the creator of the PastorForLife.org website. Be sure to visit his website for his complete story, and much encouraging content! Paul is also a listener to our podcast, and has encouraged us on several occasions! Paul's story is the story of many pastors. It's a story of health, burnout, and health again - and a story of faithfulness to the local church and the Lord. A correction: Paul's story is similar, but many pastors don't make it back to the "health again" status. So this episode reveals how Paul, and his church, worked to get him back on track physically, spiritually, and perhaps most importantly, emotionally. Paul is also a ministry representative for Pete Scazzero's ministry, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. Paul and his wife are headed to the east coast soon to head up a retreat ministry location for their denomination. That will be the subject of a future podcast episode with him in the fall of 2015. Enjoy this episode with Paul, and our prayer is that you are both encouraged and helped by it, to avoid the burnout that plagues so many pastors! Is ministry the thing you do for forty plus hours a week, or is ministry actually the life you live? I know, I know, how unhealthy if it were actually your life. Lopsided, out of balance, unsustainable – I can hear the cries! We need boundaries, safeguards, and protections. We need to draw healthy lines in the sand so that our job does not consume us. We want to separate our work from our family life, our personal life, our social life, etc. We want to live a balanced, healthy life.
Is it fair to consider this, using Jesus as an example? He had a commission from the Father. “As the Father has sent me…” He came to this earth for one reason, one mission, not to have a life, but to sacrifice his life for us. Probably not a fair comparison?
How about thinking about this with Paul in mind. Yeah, sure, Paul balanced life and ministry. Paul was single and urged others to be so as well. He traveled on these journeys risking his life for the sake of the Gospel being delivered to the Gentiles. He didn’t let ministry consume him. Kill him? Well yes, he tried and almost succeeded at that several times. Before he actually did succeed at allowing his calling from God to actually kill him. Yeah, Paul is probably not a good example. What in the world do you think? Is ministry a job or a life. Is it a part of our life or is it our life? I know, you’ll qualify it. You’ll straddle the fence in your answer. You’ll say, “Yes and no”. Maybe it is both/and. That's what I would say and how I would answer. But, more and more, for me, ministry is my life. It is what God has called me to. The Kingdom of God is paramount and I must live in it. Period. Yes, I admit it. This is kind of heavy and burdensome on a Monday morning. But, I thought that if I had to struggle with it, you should have to as well! Don’t you think?! How about this. How about, if you would, reply to this post – but with either a yes or a no. No qualifications, just decide which one would receive at least 51% of your vote, and reply with that. Yes or no. No qualifications, explanations, disclaimers, or second words. Just one word replies. Yes. Or. No. Yes means: “Yes, ministry is my life” No means: “No, ministry is my job” Wow, I can’t wait until Wednesday when we can just have fun on the 200churches Podcast and do some heavy handed encouragement! :-) Thanks for indulging me by reading this post. The older I (Jeff) get, it seems like the stakes just get higher in ministry. Your time gets shorter, and you want it to count. Ministry is what I've given my life to, and it seems to have become my life. Is that good? Or bad? What do you think? There! Now I've just given you permission to answer with more than one word! Happy Monday from Jeff & Jonny! Hello Pastors. This morning I received an early morning call from a mom who wanted to know if the stuffed animal her daughter received from me last night was a keeper or just on loan… Wow. Yup. Remember my recent blog post about giving stuffed animals to kids? Check it out here if you haven’t read it yet… And yes, it was a keeper! Now, back to the show! By Kareem M (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons Hello Pastors. We like you. Yes, even Jonny. Even Jonny likes you! He told me.
I have just two more things to tell you on this Friday: 1. You are a pastor who is loved by God! That’s right. God loves you as His child, but also as a shepherd to his sheep. Jesus said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” He loves you. Pure love. True love. LOVE love. Know his love today Pastor. God knows what you are struggling with today. He knows your weaknesses, and he chose you anyway. He knows your heartache and your joy, your insecurities and your slam-dunks, your silly fears and your inexplicable courage. God loves you pastor. He doesn’t expect you to be Superwoman or Superman, but he has filled you with his Spirit of power and ability. Do you think he’s disappointed with you because you’re not better than you are? No, you’re actually the only disappointed one. He knows you and stands with you. C’mon now Rev, just take this one day off from beating yourself up! In fact, take the whole weekend off! God. Loves. You. Yes, God loves the pastor. Just sit in that for a while. Then, when the people come around this weekend, you can share some of that love with them. 2. Your people love you more than you realize! You know God loves you, but your people love you too. And, they really enjoy it when you love on them, brag on them, affirm them, honestly care about how they are doing, visit them, and even when you might need to have a difficult conversation with them. People love, and need, to be cared for, encouraged, supported, cheered on, affirmed, equipped, and even confronted when they are wrong… in LOVE of course. Remember, love is not weak, it is strong and confident – always working for the best of the one loved. When do the people realize how much they love their pastor? When he or she…
In the flow and course of ministry, sometimes our people do take us for granted – and sometimes we take them for granted. But in the important, critical times of life, people need their pastor and realize just how much they are loved by him or her, and just how much they love their pastor! So, my dear pastor friend – you are loved. Not mushy, gushy, meaningless, Valentine candy kind of love. No, real love, from God and from your people. This weekend, be loved… and love.
This episode is introduced by Jeff and Jonny, together in the 200churches Podcast Studio for the first time in a month! Jeff's son Doug is still in rehab for a Traumatic Brain Injury on October 18. Doug is doing really well in his recovery.
The meat of this episode is Jeff's conversation with "John Smith", a pastor/missionary in a country where he must remain anonymous. Parts of the episode that may identify our guest are "beeped out". This episode will encourage and challenge you as a pastor! In this episode we mentioned Dave Jacobs' book - Mile Wide, Inch Deep: Experiencing God Beyond the Shallows, Soul Care for Busy Pastors and the Rest of Us. Dave's book is all about soul care for pastors, and Jeff & Jonny highly recommend it! It was the late summer of 1990. With two kids under three years old, and a husband who was working 70 hours a week, obviously my wife was going through “a tough stage”. She was having a hard time. I was working a lot, and not really completely tuned in to her struggles. This stage will pass as the baby gets easier to take care of, I thought. My memory is a bit foggy on the details, but I remember that her doctor couldn’t really help her and she ended up in a neurologist’s office. He suggested an MRI to rule out a brain tumor. What?! A neurologist wants to rule out a brain tumor?! It sounds pretty serious to me, now 24 years later. I knew then it would show nothing. She was fine. I knew my wife. She just needed to think more positively. Obviously, the results came back from her MRI – all was clear, no problems. I knew it.
She was a good soldier. A ministry wife. She did what she needed to do to serve the Lord and support her husband and church. But the struggles continued. They eased considerably while she nursed each of our four children. That should have been a clue. But, what did we know? We just prayed more. Ten years later, in the summer of 2000, I fell asleep one night while she was reading next to me in bed. I woke up almost 8 hours later to find her still reading. “Did you…?” I asked. “No”, she replied. Sleeplessness. She had a woman in her Bible study who couldn’t sleep and ended up in the mental health ward of the hospital. She thought, “what if I can’t sleep?” Sure enough, she started to have trouble sleeping. When she experienced three sleepless nights in a row, we both knew we were in trouble. It was 2000. Pastoral families were supposed to have it together. Obviously this was a flaw. What was wrong with us? My wife had four children at home, and she was homeschooling three of them. She needed her sleep. She spent the next night praying, crying out to God, and reading her Bible, along with every note she’d ever written in it. “God, I’m not asking for a ‘want’, I have a need, a big need, I just need to sleep. I have four kids God!” But the sleep only came once ever second or third night. God was silent. We had been abandoned. And then the panic attacks became more frequent. We didn’t call them that then, we didn’t know. For no reason, in the middle of anything, my wife would begin to melt down. She needed to go home, to quit whatever she was doing. She needed to retreat. After some terrible times, and honestly, after much personal suffering that I’ll never truly appreciate on my wife’s part, we broke. We were devastated, exhausted, and out of options. I called one of our deacons, who was also our doctor. I called him at home on his day off, because to make it a big deal in the doctor’s office just didn’t seem right. And, we wanted confidentiality. Ministry couples shouldn’t have these kinds of problems. I explained to him what was happening. “Oh Jeff,” he said, “every single day I see people in my office for the same type of thing. The good news is, I can help your wife, the bad news is it’s going to take about two to four weeks.” Hey, that was ALL good news to me! I could feel the dread leaving my body, and for the first time in many months, I had HOPE. I had hope that my wife would get better. I knew she was fine. There was nothing wrong with her. She was a wonderful woman, godly wife and mother, my best friend, and a good ministry soldier. She just needed to think positive, I thought. The diagnosis? A chemical imbalance in her brain. Treatment? A pill. Wow. Within two weeks she was sleeping. Way fewer panic attacks. Much less anxiety. In several months we had figured out what she needed by way of a prescription, and soon she was 95% better, which was a miracle for us. Today it’s just called “mental health”. Some people have trauma or abuse, others have addictions. My wife’s only trauma was being married to me – but she simply had an imbalance in her brain chemicals – and when that was treated, she recovered. Today, fourteen years later, she still takes half a pill, every night. She understands her brain, her emotions, and how she feels. She knows how to manage average anxiety, and she knows when she may be in for a season of needing the whole pill every night. She’s prescribed the whole pill. But mostly, she’s good with just a half. I’ve given you a thumbnail sketch of what our struggle with mental illness was like. My wife could tell you story after story of her suffering from 1990-2000. Prozac was first prescribed in 1990. All these SRI drugs have been developed since the year my wife had an MRI of her brain. But today they are available for you, just like Diabetics and blood pressure patients have their own drugs. If you are struggling with mental illness of any sort, please get help. There is HOPE on the other side. All my wife needs is 5mg a night to have her life back. It’s way worth it. And, for us, none of it was spiritual. We prayed, cried out to God, for years. He was waiting for us to just go to the doctor. Oh, that. I know that’s not everyone’s ailment and diagnosis, but it was ours. And, maybe it’s yours. Get help. Call your doctor. Pastors and their spouses need to be cared for too. This Wednesday on episode 88, we talk with David Craig, Jonny’s dad. David has suffered with Depression for decades, all the while serving as a pastor, and he tells his story this week on the 200churches Podcast. Sometimes pastors can be prisoners. Are you a prisoner? To your own expectations? To others’ impossible standards? To your church’s culturally imposed requirements? To your denomination’s ministerial mold? To your board’s unintentionally hurtful demands? Are you a prisoner to your sense of failure, lack of achievement, or low self-esteem? To your crazy, unworkable, marginless schedule? To your addiction to games, video, screens, substances, or other ministry-excluding practices?
Pastors can be prisoners. Especially when they do not have the freedom to be themselves. Can you just be yourself? Or is being yourself somehow antithetical to what you, your church, or your denomination expects from a “good pastor”? This week on the podcast, episode #87, we talk with our friend Erik Anderson. Erik got to the point in his life and ministry where both were unsustainable. He was a prisoner to how he was doing ministry. He was a manic worker – even working in the middle of the night. He was driven, but by what? He was alienating himself from his wife. He was “doing ministry” in an untenable way. One day Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall. Erik tells his story, and we have the opportunity to perhaps find a piece of our story in his. Years ago one pastor recounted how he had been so busy, busy, busy in ministry, that he finally got to the place where he had to admit to God, “Father, the way I am doing the work of God in the ministry, is destroying the work of God in my own heart.” You might be on either end of the work continuum: you might be the workaholic, or you might be the lazy pastor. Both are unsustainable. Both will catch up with you. Maybe you are right in the middle. Everything is just right. You’ve got all your ducks in a row. You’re very predictable, very scheduled, very organized. Your calendar is appropriate and your plans are set. Even the Holy Spirit can’t surprise you! One thing is certain, if we are not working with Jesus in building his Kingdom, we are on our own. And if we are on our own, we are powerless. If we serve in ministry, practicing being aware of the presence of God, and walking in the Spirit, arm in arm and shoulder to shoulder with God – we can face anything that life or ministry can throw at us. Jesus frees us. Without Jesus, we are prisoners. Prisoners to all of the above expectations and conditions we already outlined. Erik’s story on Wednesday’s podcast episode will encourage you. We are excited to share it with you. It’s our gift to you. Because, sometimes, pastors can be prisoners. If you enjoyed this post, you would enjoy Episode 44 - The Pastor's Self-Care.
In this episode we talk again with Nathan Stob. Nathan is the Director of ATLAS Ministries in Orange City, IA where they work with people who have been sidetracked or sidelined, and help them to get back on the road of life.
In our conversation, two important and essential practices were revealed that will help pastors rid themselves of the scourge of pornography addiction. The first practice is to make yourself accountable to another. That sounds simple enough, but in the podcast, we break that down and explain what that really looks like. This is not simply a matter of an accountability partner who will ask you the tough questions. It is actually much different than that. The second practice is that of Scripture meditation. This addresses the need to renew your mind. If you've been viewing pornography for a long time, your mind is warped, and your attitude toward the opposite sex is completely skewed. You need to heal, to become whole and holy in your thinking about sex, love, intimacy, and purity. Meditation is one of the answers. As you meditate on God's Word and his truth, your mind becomes aligned with the heart of God, and your heart follows. We will definitely have a part 3 on this issue of pornography addiction in an upcoming episode. There is so much that we did not talk about, and would like to share with you in the future! We hope you are encouraged as you listen to this episode! Here are two other posts that will be helpful on this topic: Small Church Pastors and Porn – Some Ugly Stuff Episode 43 - Small Church Pastors & Pornography Addiction Do You Carry Pastor Porn Insurance? **We will do another episode on the practice and benefits of meditation for renewing your mind. We would suggest starting in Paul's epistles... Pornography. The word causes us to lower our heads, dim our eyes, and feel the communal weight it brings on our society. It’s a great money-maker for some people, a source of shame for others, and at the same time it is ravaging people’s hearts without them even knowing it. Here’s the tough question: Do YOU struggle with it? Is it something that, if you were to be honest, crosses your path all too often?
Are you ready to rid yourself of it? You can. You really can. Are you ready? Are you willing to do what it takes to walk away from porn? On Wednesday, on episode 83, we share with you two essential steps you must take to rid yourself of pornography. Without these two steps, you will likely continue to struggle, alone. Step one will help you turn your back on it, and step two will allow your brain and your heart to begin to heal. You can heal, you know. You really can. There is a path to healing and wholeness and we are going to share it with you. Now, there are A LOT of things you could do, and likely need to do, in your flight from porn, but we are going to share two things that are absolutely essential, and are foundational to winning the battle, and healing your heart and mind. In the meantime, we encourage you to go back, all the way back to Episode 43, where we talk with Nathan Stob about this very subject. CLICK HERE to find Episode 43 – Small Church Pastors & Pornography Addiction. There are some things on that page that will get you started. But to finish the process, you’ll need to listen to this week’s episode, #83, to really ramp up your flight from porn, and fight against porn. Remember, jeff@200churches.com, jonny@200churches.com, and dave@smallchurchpastor.com are always available to you, to help you and encourage you in your ministry struggles. Don’t drown in the tumultuous sea of pornography. There is a way to safety; you can reach the shore. Have hope. Find Episode 43 – Small Church Pastors & Pornography Addiction right here, and then stay tuned this week for Episode 83 – Two Crucial Steps To Breaking Your Pornography Addiction. We love you! May God bless you, the men and women who serve as shepherds of God’s sheep, and may you find HOPE in the Gospel you so often preach to others!
Jeff and Jonny absolutely LOVE recording and producing their podcast, but their greatest joy is knowing that they are providing you as a small church pastor with high octane encouragement each and every Wednesday! They have been at this for a while now, and today's episode, #80 is absolutely another grand slam with the leadership master, Dan "the Enforcer" Reiland!
(By the way, everything Dan shares in this episode, plus much more, is contained in his book, Amplified Leadership, which you can get here!) They wanted me to tell you - EAT IT UP BABY! Jonny is off on a youth trip to Colorado this week while Jeff is slaving away in his very last week of his Master's program summer session. When he finishes on Sunday night, July 27, he will be D-O-N-E. So they are having me, the 200churches Gnome, write the post for today. Jonny said to remind you that they are just two pastors, "no big fancy podcast budget" for professional transcripts and extensive and expansive links to online resources. Jeff said that you just have to listen to the episode, and take notes. "There is a wealth of leadership encouragement here for the small church pastor" he said. That's about all he said, because he was pretty grumpy I was calling him in the middle of writing a paper. (I probably shouldn't have said that?) They are going to be traveling and on vacation for the next few weeks, but they have done their work ahead of time, and recorded all the episodes through August 20th. Which, I think, is pretty impressive. I listen to podcasts for Gnomes, and a lot of these podcasts put up "best of" repeats in the summer. Not Jonny and Jeff! In the coming weeks, they have Angela, the "voice of 200churches" in the studio for an episode, Coach Dave Jacobs talking about how to become an outward focused church, Nathan Stob, for his second appearance on the podcast talking about pornography addiction, and then they did an episode with just them, talking about their passion for small church ministry - I've listened to them all, and I liked them. But then again, I'm just a Gnome. This episode is based on a blog post Dan Reiland wrote, and you can find it here. Please enjoy Episode 80 of the 200churches Podcast. And if you talk with Jeff or Jonny, tell them you liked the Gnome!
There we were--surrounded by animal heads and piles of papers and books--getting ready to start recording. And I (Jonny) gave Doug the same advice I give all of our first-time guests: "Above all else, Doug, you just have to be yourself! Lots of people pick up the mic and drop their personality. Just be you and it'll be great."
He promised to do his best and Jeff hit record. "Welcome to the 200churches podcast!" I said in my best podcast-projection voice, when all of a sudden Doug interrupts: "What happened to just be yourself!?" Honestly, if there is one person in the world I don't have to tell to be himself, it's Doug Grogan. To know Doug is to love him and we are so excited to have him featured today on the podcast. Our conversation with Doug primarily focused on the struggles that face pastors of small churches. Doug's perspective is amazing because he's been in the trenches as a small church pastor, and in his current role as the District Superintendent works primarily with pastors of 200churches. One of my favorite things that Doug talked about was putting together a support system. As pastors, we need to have people we can be real with and share our struggle with. We're not meant to be lone rangers, and Doug encourages pastors to find a support system. Another point that Doug makes repeatedly in the podcast is that pastors must practice patience. Take time, get to know people, learn the lay of the land. In other words, only fools rush in. Doug shares some great stories and examples of how patience can lead to healthier change. This is a great podcast episode that you should share with every small church pastor you know! The "view from the top" that Doug offers is invaluable to the men and women serving in a 200church, and it is truly encouraging to hear his heart for small churches. |
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